Once I liked sleeping in cold beds
slipping between the sheets and shivering
until I formed a pocket of warmth
to sleep in
Now I can’t stand lying in a cold bed
because it means I’m not with you
you burn me to the touch, smoldering
like the embers you ignite in my heart
stirred like the fires of my soul
as they come to light
when our eyes meet
I spread my arms into the wind and jump. For a moment we’re suspended in space amid the single note of someone’s scream and a roll of thunder above us. Then we’re plummeting toward the ground, the wind roaring into my ears and rain splattering across my face. I spread my fingers–the water hits them like ice and I swear I’m bleeding–and try to feel the water droplets in the air and the layers of clouds above us.
The rain’s a lot like the snow, and I feel the droplets moving toward me as I start to bend my fingers inward, but the clouds are like the river I hadn’t quite gotten hold of. I open my eyes and try to look upwards, to see them, but it’s all a blur, and we’re still falling. I shut my eyes, imagining the clouds and spread my fingers again. It’s now or never.
As I climbed in her car, Rebecca Blakewell tapped the side of my skull with her finger. I felt a sudden jolt and suddenly I couldn’t see. “It’s only temporary,” she said with a laugh and I heard the car door close.
Another door opened a moment later and she closed it before starting the car. It rumbled underneath me and I heard over its rattling the sound of sirens in the distance.
“Did you knock them all out?” I asked. She and I had been alone outside, but there were other guys still inside. The house should’ve been packed this time of night.
“They’ll wake up once we’re gone,” she said and I felt a lurch backward as she began moving. “It’s easier to win a game when there are fewer pieces in play, don’t you agree?”
I see a small bathroom attached to the hospital room and angle myself in that direction; as I fall off the bed, I grab a handful of wires and pull–they hold me back for a second and then pop off as I strike the floor. I moan as the monitors start beeping and shrieking and I drag myself along the floor toward the bathroom. I pull myself up in front of the sink and grab the handle–water starts pouring, and I splash it in my face, letting little rivers of drips and drops slide into my mouth. It hits my tongue like acid, chiseling away at the parched landscape of my mouth. It feels wonderful and my sudden thirst makes me yearn for more.
I struggle to pull myself up, straining my neck to reach the water. I stick my tongue out and feel the first droplets on my palette, and it gives me strength to push forward and open my mouth under the faucet: the water floods inside me and rushes down my throat, and at first I feel like I’m choking, but then I feel my muscles start to work again and the fugue start to lift from my mind and my eyes–I can see again, the blurry haze slipping away. I swallow and I swallow more and more and then I hear footsteps.
I tried pressing Ylissa for more, but after all that seizing, that one morsel of usable information was all she was able to pull from the nonsensical reeling inside her mind. But maybe that was enough. My suspicions were confirmed: the biology department was where I’d find the answers about what had happened to Gus, and if he was still alive, where I could find him. Then maybe my life could be normal again.